As a feminist, I oppose most pornography, as the mainstream items contain heavy patriarchal bias. Often when discussing this or even just alluding to it, some ignorant guy determined to show the feminist that men don’t hate women will shout that mainstream pornography isn’t patriarchal because some guys like femdom exists. As a masochist, I know a thing or two about BDSM. I can speak at length about how BDSM fits into mainstream culture and what I deem negative exports, but I can’t get far with these guys, because they don’t really know about BDSM themselves. All they know is that some guys like something called femdom, which looks kind of matriarchal to them, so therefore they don’t think patriarchy exists.
The really infuriating thing, though, is that they refuse to own up to their ignorance and ask questions. Instead, they just assume that the feminist is wrong and seize the chance to make fun of those loony feminists coming up with their own wacky ideology that includes terms like ‘topping from the bottom’, ‘edgeplay’, ‘vanilla’, ‘sissification’, and the acronym ‘BDSM’ itself. Just because they never heard of it, they think it doesn’t exist, and they think it’s perfectly reasonable to make this big show about how they’re talking to some unreasonable person who believes ‘topping from the bottom’ actually means something and how we’re talking about sadomasochism, not whatever the hell BDSM is. Oh how unfairly treated they are by the wacky feminist!
You know how to act when someone says something you don’t recognize? You say, “I’m sorry, but could you define that before you move on? Thank you.” As Will Wheaton would say, “Don’t be a dick.”
These people are breathtakingly stupid, and they are of low moral character for their insistence on causing pain to their opponent. FSM, this pisses me off!